Making an Effort to Slow Down

Artwork in progress in studio at PlatteForum

The tortoise wins the race

It’s kind of been a wild ride here at my residency with PlatteForum. Primarily, I’m learning about pace. I keep hearing in the back of my mind, “slow and steady wins the race.” Actually, I keep hearing, “the tortoise wins the race,” and have to remind myself what the tortoise represents.

This voice keeps appearing because I started logging my hours for Medicaid work requirements. Turns out, I work between 60–70 hours a week, and even more when I have a deadline.

Being here for this residency and wanting to make the most of it—not just grinding in a beautiful studio, but being present—taking time to try new things in my paintings, expand my practice into new mediums, and meet new friends while nurturing existing friendships—has really shown how working that many hours benefits production but halts life.

For years, I’ve overworked myself because I felt the need to justify my decision not only to take the path of being an artist but also to work for myself. In my mind, justification meant overworking.

There’s also the stereotype that artists must suffer for their art for it to be any good. Some might disagree with that in principle but still model something different—like me.

What I want for myself and others, especially in an economy where capitalism demands we become more like robots, is to focus on living rather than producing. As of last week, I’ve been actively trying to reduce my work hours to 40–50 a week, and it’s amazing how much more I can feel the rest of my body. Turns out, I’m not just a head.

With that said, here are some highlights from my residency—some of the more “human” moments I’ve experienced here:

• Finally meeting friends I’d never met in person

• Going to Dracula by the Colorado Ballet

• Putting together my Halloween costume

• Seeing City Hall lit up with Philippine colors

• Blushing while holding an Emmy that doesn’t belong to me

• Experiencing an intimate kamayan dinner